Anthony Quinn; Mary Hart; Christie Brinkley; Annie Potts; Bette Midler; Hugh Heffner; Susan Sarandon; Ed McMahon; Yasir Arafat; Roseanne; Ann Jillian; Marilu Henner; Diane Keaton; Woody Allen and Mia Farrow; Clint Eastwood and Frances Fisher; Connie Chung and Maury Povich; Mary Matalin and James Carville; my husband and me -- we're all OPTIONS.

What is an OPTION? An Over-40 Parent of a Toddler, Infant, or Newborn.

Those of us who are part of the Baby Boom Generation don't want to admit that being the parent of a young child when we=re over 40 is different from being a parent when we're in our 20s or 30s. After all, today's 50 year olds are younger than yesterday's 40 year olds. Even those of us who are closer to 50 than 30 (or even 40) don't want to admit that we=re middle aged (our parents are middle aged, but not us). But if we won't even admit that we're middle aged, then how can we know if we qualify as an OPTION? There are definite signs: You know you're an OPTION if:

1. You qualify for a senior citizen discount at museums while your under-three-year-old child gets in for free;

2. The other preschool parents think that Dead Kennedys refers to a band;

3. You are beginning to wear diapers just as your toddler is getting out of them;

4. You want to live in a neighborhood with others your own age, but adult only communities won=t accept families with live-at-home children under 10;

5. You're dealing with teething when you're the same age your grandparents were when you discovered the true identity of the tooth fairy;

6. You need to find your bifocals to cut your kids' nails;

7. You enroll your child in preschool the same week you become eligible for AARP membership;

8. The parents of teenagers on the Nickelodeon sitcoms your kids watch are younger than you;

9. You're paying for orthodonture and dentures at the same time;

10. You can't retire yet because you can't stretch your pension to cover the cost of preschool;

11. Your repetitive stress wrist injury is from picking Play Doh out of the rugs;

12. You're more concerned about the quality of G-rated movies than A-rated bonds;

13. You're thinking about redecorating your house in chocolate brown and spaghetti sauce red;

14. You dress for comfort rather than success;

15. You're an expert on removing spit-up, but not champagne, from silk blouses;

16. Your cat weighs more than your child;

17. You're too busy dealing with blueberry yogurt stains to have a midlife crisis;

18. Instead of an empty nest, you have rooms full of Legos;

19. The last book you read was Goodnight, Moon;

20. You host playgroups instead of networking parties;

21. You're buying nursing bras instead of Wonderbras;

22. You wake up at night to go to the bathroom more often than your child.

And the surest sign of all is when people keep telling you how cute your grandchildren are when you're with your children.